I saw the magazine. You were interviewed? Nice. Congrats!! Center page spread, huh? Neat! :)
THAT's what I WOULD HAVE said had you mentioned or forewarned me about the "girlfriend" bit!
Girlfriend?? A GIRLFRIEND???
How did you forget to mention THAT?? :O
Gulp. Fine! I know I should be happy for you but whatever, of course I am not exactly "thrilled" at the prospect of you dating someone... Yeah, it is awkward and I know you didn't mention her because of ...
AND oh-my-God, your cutesy smile. why? WHY? Couldn't you just pose with a straight face? F.Y.I, I totally love it! :D
Be good and do good ****(I STILL can't say it in public! :P)
Love always
Ash
P.S. Can you believe fucking fate??? DAD(of all people) bought home the magazine! :O :X Stop laughing! Not funny man. :|
For the readers: No matter how close you are to me, don't ask me about this post. I don't wanna talk about it. :)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Now I know...
I was reading "The inscrutable Americans" by Anurag Mathur and for the first time I understood why I connect with America even though I have never been there... Why, I feel so lost and uncomfortable in India. Why I want to move to some far away place. No, its not that I hate India. Seriously, how can I ? A more appropriate question would be "Can I ever hate India?" 'Am so Indian- So many of my principles are Indian, my dreams are Indian and my very being is Indian. How can the tree survive when it is uprooted? Simple as that.
But I sure think its important for me to be in America. More like New York. Something fast, individualistic and busy.
There is a glory in some of the things that are quintessentially American- the hot dogs, bagels, liberty bell, the pubs, the cars, the "individualism" in the society... I want to be a part of it all... a tiny weeny dot in the big bad city :) You know what I mean ;P
I don't know how people assume that 'am "not" patriotic towards India just because I said "There is a glory in some things American..." Really? That's supposed to show that I am not patriotic? My question here is: "Do I want to be patriotic? Is it such a good quality that I MUST cultivate it?" I don't think so... By the way, if you must know, I AM patriotic but not a fanatic or a nationalist. I just happened to notice many of my friends join this community on Facebook called "I'm an Indian. Be jealous"; It only got me cackling like an old hag! Seriously! Is THAT what you consider "PATRIOTISM"?? :O Hm... Some thinking to do?
I'll be brutally honest at this point: I do believe that America is a much better place than India in many, many ways. And vice versa. Peace.
Anyway, this post was supposed be about the book "The inscrutable Americans" and well, it twisted itself into something else.
Adios amigos,
Ash
But I sure think its important for me to be in America. More like New York. Something fast, individualistic and busy.
There is a glory in some of the things that are quintessentially American- the hot dogs, bagels, liberty bell, the pubs, the cars, the "individualism" in the society... I want to be a part of it all... a tiny weeny dot in the big bad city :) You know what I mean ;P
I don't know how people assume that 'am "not" patriotic towards India just because I said "There is a glory in some things American..." Really? That's supposed to show that I am not patriotic? My question here is: "Do I want to be patriotic? Is it such a good quality that I MUST cultivate it?" I don't think so... By the way, if you must know, I AM patriotic but not a fanatic or a nationalist. I just happened to notice many of my friends join this community on Facebook called "I'm an Indian. Be jealous"; It only got me cackling like an old hag! Seriously! Is THAT what you consider "PATRIOTISM"?? :O Hm... Some thinking to do?
I'll be brutally honest at this point: I do believe that America is a much better place than India in many, many ways. And vice versa. Peace.
Anyway, this post was supposed be about the book "The inscrutable Americans" and well, it twisted itself into something else.
Adios amigos,
Ash
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Happy Birthday Aarzoo :)
First and foremost- Happy 19th Birthday zoo!! I can call you that, can't I? :) I'll take the liberty... I know it feels strange to read this letter- (a) It's a LETTER. So ancient! (b) Why didn't I just tell you this? Why a LETTER? :) Drop those questions for now. The answers will come. :) I promise.
I have known you since you were 5. You should remember: This letter was written way back in 2010. What's it now? 2022? Hope my math was right. At this point, I love you so much that I just want to be optimistic and use " I have known you" instead of "I knew you". "I have known you" would imply that I never lost you and spent many a waking moment with you. :) I do hope so dearie.
Your mom is an amazing woman and so is your dad. I know you love Tammy too.She is very special. In a sense, your mom gave me life and the strength to live that life. I owe her.:) But oh yes, this letter isn't about your mom, dad, Tam or your amazing family- Manoj, Ammachi and Remi; it's about YOU.
First and foremost, I want you to know that "I LOVE YOU".You will always occupy a special place in my heart.I don't know whether you knew it then, but the summer of 2010 was a very special one for me. It was a difficult period, yes, but also one that I treasure! Who am I kidding? It was one of the toughest times, zoo. But you somehow helped me through most of it. People had walked in and out of my life too often back then, but you held on. You chose me as your Godmother remember? I know it was all in good fun but I took the title seriously :) You were my baby. I wish I could say the same now but I know both of us will be embarrassed- It's cool. :) I just wanted to be loved by someone and respected at the same time too - unconditionally. My family loved me but they are FAMILY, you know. Yeah, Rambo(Suzy) loved me unconditionally. I wanted some attention and pampering but like you know, I am too egoistic to stoop down and SEEK attention. I never will. And there you were with the sweetest smile and the purest of hearts (same goes for Tam)- I remember the way you girls hugged my legs(yeah, that's how tall you were) that indeed, transported me somewhere else... All the attention you showered me and minus the pity- oh boy! If only adults could learn to do that! Or just your gentle voice, calling out : "Ashwini didi". The way you would ask me every single time: "Ashwini, sleepover today? Yay! Come... come..." Ha ha I never told you but my chest would puff up, even if a little bit . I want to really thank you. Somehow, telling you "thank you" or "love you" sounds funny- I am just stating the obvious! :P
Sorry, most of what 'am writing must be mushy and corny. My sincere apologies but I do mean it- Down to every single word!
Your mom and I shared a very special bond. She's been my guardian angel, sister, mother, friend, mentor all rolled into one. I wish I can do something for you. Remember, I am just a call away. Be it girl problems, family problems, or you just want to rant or tell someone how happy you are with your boyfriend- you can always come to me! :D I would love to listen to all of it and waltz you through it! Don't worry, Tammy will get her's in due course. For now, its your turn. Wondering where is your gift? All you have to do is reach out- it's waiting for you. :)
Happy Birthday! :)
For you, a thousand times over.
Love,
Ash
I have known you since you were 5. You should remember: This letter was written way back in 2010. What's it now? 2022? Hope my math was right. At this point, I love you so much that I just want to be optimistic and use " I have known you" instead of "I knew you". "I have known you" would imply that I never lost you and spent many a waking moment with you. :) I do hope so dearie.
Your mom is an amazing woman and so is your dad. I know you love Tammy too.She is very special. In a sense, your mom gave me life and the strength to live that life. I owe her.:) But oh yes, this letter isn't about your mom, dad, Tam or your amazing family- Manoj, Ammachi and Remi; it's about YOU.
First and foremost, I want you to know that "I LOVE YOU".You will always occupy a special place in my heart.I don't know whether you knew it then, but the summer of 2010 was a very special one for me. It was a difficult period, yes, but also one that I treasure! Who am I kidding? It was one of the toughest times, zoo. But you somehow helped me through most of it. People had walked in and out of my life too often back then, but you held on. You chose me as your Godmother remember? I know it was all in good fun but I took the title seriously :) You were my baby. I wish I could say the same now but I know both of us will be embarrassed- It's cool. :) I just wanted to be loved by someone and respected at the same time too - unconditionally. My family loved me but they are FAMILY, you know. Yeah, Rambo(Suzy) loved me unconditionally. I wanted some attention and pampering but like you know, I am too egoistic to stoop down and SEEK attention. I never will. And there you were with the sweetest smile and the purest of hearts (same goes for Tam)- I remember the way you girls hugged my legs(yeah, that's how tall you were) that indeed, transported me somewhere else... All the attention you showered me and minus the pity- oh boy! If only adults could learn to do that! Or just your gentle voice, calling out : "Ashwini didi". The way you would ask me every single time: "Ashwini, sleepover today? Yay! Come... come..." Ha ha I never told you but my chest would puff up, even if a little bit . I want to really thank you. Somehow, telling you "thank you" or "love you" sounds funny- I am just stating the obvious! :P
Sorry, most of what 'am writing must be mushy and corny. My sincere apologies but I do mean it- Down to every single word!
Your mom and I shared a very special bond. She's been my guardian angel, sister, mother, friend, mentor all rolled into one. I wish I can do something for you. Remember, I am just a call away. Be it girl problems, family problems, or you just want to rant or tell someone how happy you are with your boyfriend- you can always come to me! :D I would love to listen to all of it and waltz you through it! Don't worry, Tammy will get her's in due course. For now, its your turn. Wondering where is your gift? All you have to do is reach out- it's waiting for you. :)
Happy Birthday! :)
For you, a thousand times over.
Love,
Ash
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I was fifteen when I wrote this somewhere. Just wanted to keep an account of it here :)
Spooky
3 Aug, 2006 5:40 PM
Something’s so different today. The sinking feeling in d four of us- the clouds, the sudden drizzle.
Its waaaay too weird. The feeling that something’s going wrong... our fight with arjun and the way he used subs name. The way anup is all showing off and the sudden attention. The lump in my throat. The Goosebumps. The way pratek said bye, n all the color from our faces was drained. The endless silence yet noise. Something’s just not right...... I can’t place it.
Hope he's all right!
Fingers crossed.
Ash :-(
[Anup committed suicide the next day:| I should have told him what I felt.]
Happy Day
1 Dec, 2006 6:16 PM
I am really happy coz when u asked me tat question I saw how vulnerable u are! For the 1st time I felt like I was talking to YOU n not to the most popular person in the college. Thanks for an amazing day! U didn’t lose... think about it!!!
Love :-)
ash
[I still treasure this moment dude!]
Spooky
3 Aug, 2006 5:40 PM
Something’s so different today. The sinking feeling in d four of us- the clouds, the sudden drizzle.
Its waaaay too weird. The feeling that something’s going wrong... our fight with arjun and the way he used subs name. The way anup is all showing off and the sudden attention. The lump in my throat. The Goosebumps. The way pratek said bye, n all the color from our faces was drained. The endless silence yet noise. Something’s just not right...... I can’t place it.
Hope he's all right!
Fingers crossed.
Ash :-(
[Anup committed suicide the next day:| I should have told him what I felt.]
Happy Day
1 Dec, 2006 6:16 PM
I am really happy coz when u asked me tat question I saw how vulnerable u are! For the 1st time I felt like I was talking to YOU n not to the most popular person in the college. Thanks for an amazing day! U didn’t lose... think about it!!!
Love :-)
ash
[I still treasure this moment dude!]
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