contemplative

I am seriously trying to understand my reason for writing this piece… I am feeling so down in the dumps. Sigh! Is this catharsis? I have my doubts about that. For all I know, maybe I think someone will read my blog and take pity on me! Anyway, I really don’t care!

Well, I know my dreams, but are they my “DREAMS”?? You must be wondering what am I saying here, it’s just one of those-what-is-my-purpose-in-life-thing. I always thought I wanted to be a psychologist, but now I do not feel a burning passion for it! On the other hand, I feel that way about American literature! I don’t know if my Literature professor has something to do with that! : P Okay, jokes apart, I am also not getting good support from my friends and family (for the first time). They try to convince me that Indian education is better. But my argument is not that, all I want is a chance. A chance to be what I want to be, what I need to be- in all entirety! :O I know many people won’t get my point, none the less I must try.

I look at America as my land, not India. In life, I just grew up too fast. And back then I read a lot of books- American books and since then I think American… No, let’s not get into patriotism issues. That’s another hell-hole.

So, this, here is my chance to visit that land, philosophy, culture that kept (keeps) me sane. People around me just don’t get it- there are two things I dream about- not money, fame, success, good health, et cetera. One, I dream of starting a home, a life, in America, the other is not-so-important (for now).

Gulp. I am both, spoilt of choices and contemplating my stance.

I must sign off now.