26/3/09, Thursday


Who can say where the road goes, where the day flows, only time…
And who can say if your love grows, as your heart chose, only time…
Tra la la la
Tra la la la
Who can say why your heart sighs, as your love flies, only time…
And who can say why your heart cries, when your loves lies, only time…
Tra la la la
Tra la la la
Who can say when the roads meet, that love might be… hmmmm
La la hmmmm…

I cut off from my thoughts right there…Ha ha! Danger zone ;)

I did open my black diary and read the conversations I had with him, they weren’t particularly painful, even less, nostalgic. But it did make me think as to what went wrong, I mean, not that I was in love with him but I did genuinely like him- a lot! Yeah…and it was not love! More like a deep friendship, maybe. :) It surprises me how I speak in the past tense, because I, even now do not know whether it’s “The End” or whether it’s like a “Break”… No clue… Infact I am the one who altogether stopped speaking to him but it really isn’t my fault, I don’t like to pretend like I care, I cannot pretend that I am not mad, I do not want to pretend that what we had was nothing, I cannot pretend like I still trust him! Suddenly, all the mistakes he made, (is making) started getting onto my nerves!!! The amount he lied… repulsed me! Sigh! I wanted to make a refined man out of him and it was not charity…It mattered!
Whoa! Hold it right there! Jesus! I promised myself I will not start analyzing lost things again! They are, just…well…past and done with! And this is just one of the many promises I seem to be breaking these days…
I know and am completely aware that I did not collect my voter-id form, I have not called muttu, I even forgot that I had to meet her(I feel worse than a worm right now because of it ), I did not shop for some major ESSENTIALS for my survival(oh pha-lease!), my grades(can we steer clear? :P)!!! Fought with Rambo-brutal and am constantly looking at my mobile, as if, an apologetic message from him will pop right up! Hahaha THAT is, really, heights of expectation: P because…
a) He will not bother to message me –ever! :(
b) Even if he miraculously did, he would not apologize! No way! Not him!:|
c) If, somehow, ‘a’ and ‘b’ happened… he would never be sure as to WHY he is apologizing when, am the one who is the “SNOB”…

The last point is such a piss-off!! : X
Okie, but then…. Crap! Screw it! It is already half past seven! Sigh! And tomorrow is journalism exam… Ever told you how wonderful my life is?? : P

Seeya, pal!

Love,
Ash.

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLhZ6mtrMzc
-This is the link for the song i referred to- "only time" by Enya.
-Doodle drawn by Ankita Salian. Thank You.